Charity - Is Charitable Giving Ever Wrong?
83First Lessons in Learning To Give
Where Does Charity Begin?
There are some who would say that charitable giving is never wrong because it is a moral responsibility, a form of social contract, to which we are a party solely by being born into the human race.
But just because we are born into this contract does not mean we know how to fulfill it. For that, we become "students of giving", starting in childhood and continuing through life, making progress or falling behind, as we would in any course of study. At some point, we may have to ask ourselves if charitable giving is still right, even though we may have gotten some of the lessons very wrong.
Learning To Give
My first memory of charitable giving was dropping coins in the collection basket at church on Sunday mornings. My mother was very clear about why the coins would go to the church. Handing me the coins she would say, "These are for the children less fortunate than you." At the time, I didn't understand exactly what "less fortunate" meant or how the money would get from the church to the children, but since I did know that the church was always right, I was happy to accept that my coins would eventually be held by a child just like me, only less fortunate. It was the right thing to do, God would bless me for doing it, and that made me feel good. These were valuable early lessons in charitable giving. Not only did I learn that I had a familial and religious responsibility to give to those who needed help, I also learned that giving made me feel good.
As I grew older, the answer to the question "Why give?" became more complex. Certainly, helping others and feeling good about it remained a sufficient answer, but now I could add other reasons for giving, such as the financial savings inherent in personal tax deductions, the business contacts that could be made through social networking, and the skills training that could be gained through volunteering.
When Giving Goes Wrong
Finally, once I became a business owner and discovered the business tax benefits of charitable giving, I found myself asking another question, one I did not like at all, which was, "What's in it for me?"
With this question came the realization that my success-driven life had caused me to lose sight of the moral balance between giving and receiving. I had come to the point where I wasn't giving anything in any meaningful way; rather, I was taking everything I could get.
Sure, I was pumping dollars into the organizations of my choice, but I wasn't feeling good about it. In fact, I was feeling hypocritical. An organization would thank me for my contribution, and I would smile and say, "You are so welcome," but the smile masked my true thoughts which were, "You are thanking me for giving this donation to you, but I am really using my business tax advantage to pad my own pocket."
What was it that I failed to learn about charitable giving that led me down this destructive path? What happened to the child's simple understanding of "It was the right thing to do, God would bless me for doing it, and that made me feel good."?
Righting the Wrong
It was time for me to right this wrong. I began my search for what charitable giving means to me by listening to what others had to say about giving, and I ended by listening to my heart.
Here is what I found.
History and Philosophy Bring Insights
We in the 21st century are not the only ones to ponder the reasons for giving. Healers, writers, philosophers, theologians, and artists before us have given this topic much considered thought.
Did you know that in the 12th century Maimonides (Rambam), the Jewish physician and philosopher, proposed an eight-step program of giving called the Ladder of Charity? This program guides a person from the least to the most effective forms of charitable giving. The highest form of giving is Responsibility, which means giving the gift of self-reliance to another. The lowest is Reluctance, which means giving grudgingly.
Clearly, I had arrived at the lowest rung on the ladder when I had asked, "What's in it for me?"
To learn more about Rambam and the Ladder of Charity, you can listen to a fascinating interview with Julie Salamon, author of Rambam's Ladder: A Meditation on Generosity and Why it is Necessary to Give.
"Pay It Forward" Is a Powerful Strategy
Giving grows exponentially when you give and ask nothing for yourself in return, except that the recipient gives as you gave, three times.
One day I was in the grocery check-out and short two dollars for my purchase. A gentleman in line behind me handed the cashier two dollars, turned to me, and said, "It's my pleasure. Please, when someone needs two dollars and you have it, give it to them." Since then, I have given many symbolic two dollars, with the same message to the person who needed it, doing my part to pay it forward.
Corporations Are Not Altruistic, But They Can Set the Stage for Meaningful Giving
The trap I fell into was thinking that my corporate dollars would take care of my giving obligation, while at the same time reducing my tax liability. This "Reluctance" form of giving is not altruism.
However, on the plus side, corporate giving can have a positive trickle-down effect, regardless of any thoughtless intentions.
Consider these potential outcomes of a corporate giving program:
- The company you work for may have a matching program. If you donate 100 dollars to the organization of your choice, your company will match your contribution. Not bad.
- Your company may organize volunteer days for the organization of their choice. If you participate, you will be paid as if you were at your desk, but your time and effort will go to a good cause at no dollar expense to you.
- In some companies, you may volunteer your off-work time to the non-profit organization of your choice, and the company you work for will pay that organization a certain amount for the hours you volunteered.
The moral of this story for me? There is a greater good here. Large corporations can touch many people. If a corporation's giving policy puts their employees out into the community, then the employees, through their own personal philosophies of giving, will make up for the questionable intentions of the corporation.
Celebrity Charitable Giving Can Pack a Wallop
There is much debate over the motives behind celebrities' donating their time, possessions, and money to charitable causes. Are they doing it because their intention is to do the right thing with the right spirit, or are they doing it because it's a great public relations strategy with the ultimate benefits going to themselves? In a way, it doesn't matter, because we tend to follow after them and do the right thing for the causes they espouse. (Here's that trickle-down effect again.)
To get some good insights into this debate, read Al Barger on celebrity giving as he ponders his own charitable giving choices.
Then go to YouTube and search "charity". See what you find, and make your own decision.
Listening to My Heart
As I reflected on what I had learned about the Ladder of Charity, the exponential growth inherent in "Pay It Forward", and the powerful trickle-down effects of corporate- and celebrity-sponsored giving, I traveled back in my memory to resurrect the giving experiences that had meant the most to me. These fondly remembered experiences had two things in common: they involved direct interaction with people, and they were carried out with the genuine desire to make something better than it was, if only in the smallest of ways.
Not one of these remembered experiences was ever given grudgingly, and each was intended to support the quest for self-reliance of a person or an organization. Where writing a corporate check had stuffed my pocket with tax benefits while making me morally bankrupt, connecting directly with others to achieve a greater good had led to personal and spiritual riches.
If You Question Your Reasons for Giving…
- BOOKS OF THE TIMES; Charity Begins at Home, and You Live in the World
A review of Julie Salamon’s Rambam’s Ladder by Gail Buckley. - Charitable Giving: Give in Order to Receive | Wise Bread
Thoughts on giving in order to receive, a post by Nora Dunn. - Five Charity Myths Dispelled
Are charity executives overpaid? Do victims of natural disasters need your old clothes? Can you judge a local charity based on its national name? And more...
Where To Go from Here ... Being Present
The non-profit and charitable organizations I chose to support years ago remain my choices today. Now, however, my participation is different. Although I will still make donations of money, goods, and services, as I always have, I have started to take a more active role in volunteering, connecting, interacting-in being present.
Recently I was asked to run a face-painting booth for my favorite non-profit, Special Equestrians, at their Spring Festival. Although I am not a professional face-painter, I agreed, as long as I could have two volunteers work with me. Neither of the volunteers had ever painted faces, or any body parts for that matter, so they took a few moments to practice on each other using the designs and stencils I had brought with me. Through each design, through each stroke of the brush, their confidence grew and their skills improved. Soon, they were watching their work parade all around the fair, as painted customers walked from one booth to another. At the end of the day, one of the volunteers was struck with a thought...Why not take this newly-learned skill, on behalf of Special Equestrians, to a township fair being held the following month? It would be an opportunity to generate some money for Special Equestrians, but it would also be an opportunity to provide community awareness of the organization's programs and facilities.
I was thrilled to have played a part in giving two volunteers not only a new and useful skill, but an experience that they will be "Paying Forward" on behalf of their organization.
In being present, I no longer begrudge my giving. In being present, I no longer ask, "What's in it for me?"
If you question motivations for giving, whether those motivations belong to you or someone else, you are not alone. For a look into the process that led Hubber RTalloni to a personal philosophy of and commitment to giving, read The Definition of Charitable Work.
A note about this Hub: Although this Hub was begun as an answer to ProCW's request, it quickly morphed into a personal introspection once I read Solarya's considered response. Solarya included many of the points and resources I would have as well, and I saw no point in duplicating her content or approach. Thank you, ProCW and Solarya, for setting me off down the trail I chose to follow.
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Sal, baby... YOU DO ROCK! I have chills just thinking about how deep you went into your thoughts to pull this hub out - and I'm so happy that you're sharing what you found. I love the idea that giving coins as a child can grow, as the child becomes an adult, into a soul-searching adventure.
Any non-profit that had you on their side would be lucky, and the gang at Special Equestrians had a better day at the Spring Festival because you were there. I'm diving back into your hub now, to check out all the links you provided.
Keep rockin', lady.
its a nice piece mate. Charity is just a name in a moder world. It has nothing to do with altruism
Nice hub, thank you! It's good to give money, but lots of people forget that just offering themselves cna be powerful. Sometimes giving money is just a way to make oneself feel better, but if you actually suit up and show up amazing things can happen that make you feel more like the recipient sometimes.
But honestly, even money given to the right cause for the wrong reasons is not so terrible. Some causes need money so badly, I think it scarcely matters why people give to them, so long as they do.
Excellent!
My experience with giving also started with the church. Once I became an adult, married with a family of my own, my giving took the form of helping friends/family members by allowing them a place to stay in their time of need.
This stems from my dear mom, who always had her door open to anyone who needed food, money, or shelter. She allowed my friend in highschool to live with us for our senior year, as she was having a difficult time at home. It extended to her dear friend with three children, to my friends moving back to NJ with no place to go, to my hubby and I and our two kids for the transition from an apartment to a first house,,,the list goes on and on.
I also donate blood. So for me, giving has always come from the heart, whether it was for my love of animals or people.
Wonderful hub,
love, Patty
Oh this was a wonderful, satisfying read--and only partly because I agree with so much of what you say:-) You write so well, and you brought so much meaty interesting information as well as your personal experience into this. Thank you ST for yet another great hub.
As I read I kept thinking of the parable in the bible of the "widow's mite" Giving of self vs. giving of money--paying it forward--the ladder of charity. You've given me a lot to chew on.
One place on the internet that I think is wonderful is Kiva.com -- the internet makes giving ( or in this case loaning) possible in really innovative ways and those of us in the first world can feel like we are being really useful to people in the third on a one to one level. Go have a look:
Wonderfully done my dear...And am not surprised that the lower income people give more...As we/they know what if feels like to need...not just want...and is so true in our dailey lifes and our thoughts and in our hearts. People are good.....Thank you for a great Hub and Bless you...G-Ma :o) hugs
Wonderful information, do we give from the heart? I loved that movie "Pay it Forward" where the young boy takes on a school assignment and came up with an idea to help fix people by doing 3 acts of kindness a day and asking them to pass it forward. A movie straight from the heart. Great Hub.
I see, by the comments on this hub, that you have used your gifts of compassion and sensitivity to good advantage and reminded us of ourselves once again. I agree that you ROCK.
The late great Earl Nightengale once said "True magic happens when what we love to do benefits others". That is where I try to point my sharing and caring.
I also think we need to be a little gentle with ourselves as we analize our charity. Pure motives are hard to come by. NEIL
Sally;
Great hub... First, it is a very important topic, and it is also very rich in imagery.
I love your opening with your days of selfless giving to the church. It is great that you remember how confident you were that the church used that donation for the poor. You trusted your Mom that that was true.
The idea that the highest level of giving is to give another the ability to achieve self reliance is one of the most true statements of all in the nonprofit sector. Many give and never try to discover whether that in fact happens. What a shame...
In decades of nonprofit management, I know that giving a hand out is rarely effective. However, giving a hand up is a crucial role we play. It is a very fine line, but let me say that the charity must know the difference and try to achieve it. Donors need to ask and be sure they know how the nonprofit looks at this. The problems of society are not fixed by tossing a few crumbs down for the poor.
The nonprofit sector is in shambles. Eighty-five percent of all nonprofits fold within five years, and seventy-five percent of all executive directors want another job. Funding is a huge problem, and it is exacerbated by the economy.
I wish I felt today that churches were handling their tithes through sufficient giving to the poor, like you so wonderfully recall. I don't, though. It bears out against my experience that the movie above is right on. A lot of others have the same feeling that their giving is hollow. However, instead of blaming you, I blame the nonprofits and particularly churches for not having a clear mission for their giving that you can really buy into. I think that everyone is pretty skeptical of the current system, seeing how much suffering and need there is all around us. Yet, we all know that a lot of money is funneled in that direction, between our taxes, tithes and contributions. The initiative to help is so disjointed that it often seems just like an afterthought.
I encourage people I know to be sure that their donations are going to really help people improve their lives, not just get a free meal. My answer is to form community centers, and yes, I do wish they were the churches. That way, it would be possible to really deal with the individual problems in totality.
Thank you for this hub. I hope you keep it up!
Dear Sally,
This is truly a complete article. Very, very well written and a good reminder of what charity really means. May blessings never cease to find their way to you.
Sally you touched the heart of giving -- when you give from the heart, you receive the most even if it's not your motivation. You discussed that sincerely and I learned a lot from your prespective.
We knew many people in foster care for the wrong reasons, and thankfully, the giving is so deep and difficult...they normally can't stay long, but o the damage they do while they're there. They DO give foster care a bad name.
Foster care was a deep give for us...and it took about as much or more from us than we got, it's that kind of giving.
You made me feel better for the years we spent...as we asked ourselves "Why" many many times...but lasted 18+ years-- way over the burn out time. I think true giving is the giving that's not easy. You know? For some, it might be easy to give cash...it's harder to show up and do the activity -- to participate physically with giving of the time that is so scarce for most.
"Since then, I have given many symbolic two dollars, with the same message to the person who needed it."
I LOVE the Pay IT Forward philosophy, Lynn is the greatest giver in that way -- always helping others with money time and car repair...hoping they pass it on.
"These were valuable early lessons in charitable giving. Not only did I learn that I had a familial and religious responsibility to give to those who needed help, I also learned that giving made me feel good."
I believe giving should be taught to young kids, we found it takes their mind off themselves, and teaches gratitude...our kids helped at the food bank, where as foster parents, we often got extra food. It was a great way for the foster kids and our own to give back to a place that helped them.
I'll never forget the look on all the little faces, when they took food to the needy.
Great memories, and it re-newed my desire to help...thanks Sally. That's truly where we find happiness and self-worth.
Why are we here? Your hub answers that question!!
Beautifully done, I love ya!
Here are some things to add to your research...sometimes state foster care as well as private, have donation rooms where they take in new personal care items to give to those going into placement. Some organizations assemble goody bags for kids because most kids carry their things in trash bags. Other items would include Christmas gifts, birthday gifts, gift cards, and always computers and electronics.
If anyone spends time with a foster child, they must pass the approval tests for regular visits, it is a much needed gift. Some states hire transporters that take kids to and from visits, or Dr visits.
I should do a hub about foster care, maybe? LOL
I haven't the talent to state any more fully than those comments already here re: how moving and wonderful this hub is...but please, include me on the long list of those who admire you!
One of the many treasures I take from the bible is the two pennies the widow gave. Christ said "She gave her all."
Yesterday Val and I were invited to lunch with eight others.
One of the knowledgeable men at this lunch made the comment, how much all these international Charitable Organizations skim off the top.
He told us that the World's recognized best grace up only 12% of their total income to the Charity intended for. I must say I was totally astounded. Meaning they gave 12% to whoever and kept 88% for themselves.
The people at the top must have marvelous lunches.
I could believe that they could rob the poor old widow quick enough to fill their coffers. What is 12% of 2 pennies, if those organizations were around in the days of Christ.
Thanks for a great hub
It all sound good!
Giving is an element of our humanity. I teach at the College of Micronesia in the Pacific Island areas. I have the joy of recruiting college students to get involve in building homes for low income families in the community. These students represent a diverse ethnic group of Micronesians. They went into communities of people with different language and cultures to help build homes.
On a Saturday morning, we had a devotion that reflected on the parable of the Good Samaritan. The name of our non profit housing organization came out of the devotional thought on the parable of the Good Samaritan. I am in the process of building this website but you are welcome to take a peep. httP://www.goodsamaritanhousing.com
I can't begin to name and number the people who have done things to help me get ahead in the world. I have always tried to emulate them by remembering that I may have the moment or the coin that helps someone else get through another day.
J.K. Rowling was a destitute mom until she finally wrote Harry Potter. Now she is wealthy, and from what I understand, she hasn't forgotten her past. I have read that she helps others because someone helped her.
Carol Burnett is also like that - she was given a lot of help and she pays it forward every day.
So to the teachers, family, friends and strangers I have never met, thanks!
Great hub.
Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.
Sally,
May I add that you do ROCK! This was an awesome Hub about charitable giving. I think the final rung on the ladder coincides with pure Charity, or the pure love of Christ. Well for me it does anyway... I hope you don't mind that I thought out loud! lol Thanks for this awesome reminder that motives do matter!
I really enjoyed this hub article. Great! I'm a fan now. Thanks for sharing.
Great Hub, I also find the same thing, whenever I give charity I never expect anything from them, but I find God gives me things indirectly just when I need something. So it has been real helpful. I donate money to Kiva.org charity, we give short term loans to poor people and don't charge them any interest, they give back money usually in three to six months. We use the same money and donate it to another one, so it is a great cycle to donate. :)
Awesome and provoking introspection on giving. When I give $$ I don't really think about the tax benefit, I just note it and throw it in the file for that, no sense in not taking it or feeling guilty about it. I sure as hell don't want to give any more than I have to to the government because I definitely don't like what they're doing. What I do try to do is hit organizations that really do help people, and not just go through the motions. We have been involved with Childreach for decades--I like orgs that can SHOW progreass in terms of real people, and can show a low overhead, so the high percentage goes where you want it to. I think people who can should give of themselves as well, like actually do work instead of just give money. It keeps it real. Even Americans who are struggling should still give something, it makes you thankful for what you got.
Hi Sally: I'm catching up on some reading which means, of course, here I am again reading more of your fine work. Just for starters, I love "Pay It Forward". It gives me a good feeling everytime I see it.
As many have mentioned already (and I concur), my most satisfying experiences of giving have had very little (or not at all) to do with money with money. In New York, volunteers at the post office would collect all the letters to Santa Clause, organize them into a bin, and people could come and pick out a letter or two and "answer" them. These kids would be asking Santa for clothes, winter coats, school supplies, etc., and they could break your heart. I would always "adopt" a couple of kids for Xmas and shop for them and mail all the goodies to them anonymously. I remember one little girl asked for neccessities, but added at the bottom of the letter as an afterthought, "and oh yea, I want a pony!" I just happened to have won a rather spectacular large stuffed pony at Coney Island a couple of weeks before, so into the box it went. After all, she didn't say a real pony. That'll teach her to be unspecific! But all kidding aside, nothing ever made me feel as good as those experiences every year. It took some effort, but not so much money.
Thanks for the hub and the thought-provoking insight and questions. As always, superior work. Thank you. I do adore you, you know.
Charity isn't just writing a check or giving some donation. If the mere act leads to corruption (There are many NGO's who show fancy ads but endup filling their own pockets with little or no accountability) Therefore any act of kindness, courtesy shown to others with our time, effort and emotions should also be considered as a charitable act and accordingly merited.
Wow, Sally. I had no idea that it had grown so much. When I did it, it was a bootstrap type of operation. I often thought about trying to bring it here and am shocked to find that it is here and everywhere. I have never heard of it locally, so I think I have my Christmas project! Get some publicity for this program! Thanks so much for pointing this out to me.
I want to relive the wonderful world of Santa which unfortunately was broken to me by friend when he said that it's his papa who was playing the part. The world wasn't the same I want to go back to the world when I was 7 and still believed in Santa. I was overjoyed to recieve my favorite comics (actually each parent gives to santa before hand their kids gift in india)
Those wonderful bedtime stories of fairy, cinderala, sleeping beauty I still relish. Oops I got to get back to being a 25 year old (It isn't fair....)
Wonderful hub - yes, charity from the heart as we were taught when we were young so easily grows to charity on the balance sheets! And then a hub comes along to make you think about why you need to feel as well - so thanks!
I think this is a great hub. It is fabulous about why to give and how things go wrong -a nd so many people don't recognize when they go wrong giving to charity.
I love giving to charities. I give to ones I think I can help. I don't try to give a lot, but what I can give I do. When I have outdated stuff at my house, I call a charity and find out if they can use it. When I get tired of old books, I call a book donation place that takes books to elderly homes and they get the books. If crayons are on sale at WalMart, I might pick up a few more boxes than I need and send them to a school which can use them. Charity is great- it can give you a sense of making a difference.
But I would add a warning - be careful of call-up and mailer campaigns. A lot of that money goes back to the company running the campaign and not the charity. Best way to give to charity is through their website - or sending a direct check.
Great hub!
Sally,
Thanks, I will forward that link to my friend in DC. I am from Seattle, Washington state... hehe
Hi Sally, I am taking this time to reflect about giving after I read your hub. I too have been a recipient of kindness from numerous persons (some close to me, others are strangers) through out my life. This solidifies my belief that I am now willing and open to accept all the financial blessings that life has to offer because I am quite clear on what I can do to help others find their way too.
P.S. Daisy and I had loads of fun doing the photo shoot for my yoga hub. Thanks for the link. That was sweet of you.
In the past few weeks the news seems to be full of articles about 'greed gone wrong'. So refreshing to read a well written article about the opposite of greed! Thanks.
Hi, Sally. Don't get up. I just stopped by to get that link for Operation Santa Claus (I couldn't remember the name). I knew it came up on one of your hubs, so I have been roaming from hub to hub looking for it. Hope you are having a nice day! Chris
Really appreciated your hub Sally's Trove, it is a good feeling to give and know that you are helping someone else with the basics like eating, drinking, having a roof over one's head, get medial assistance, become literate and even if your gift is small " every mickle makes a muckle" I also grew up as you did putting my coins onto the plate. My husband is a minister and we do have the opportunity to help people on a face to face basis which is good. I also believe in the pyhsical hands on approach - the giving of time. Thank- you for your wise words. Here we also have a yearly gift giving operation for children in less fortunate circumstances called "Operation Shoebox" and millions of boxes are collected from all over the world and transported across the waters, collected from wharves and then driven up into the hinterlands of the various nations (Indonesia, PNG, Vietnam etc) to villages where they are distributed to the children. The whole idea is fantastic and people give brilliantly. Have included the link for you.
There's one percolatin' in my brain right now. I've been to their website and have found some good information. Thanks!
Hey! That sounds like a bluegrass song:
It just might be in vain / and it's drivin' me insaaane / but that girl's perc-oh-late-'n my braaaaayn.
Thanks Sally's Trove ; *every mickle makes a muckle* is definitely a scottish saying - it's a beauty isn't it? my husband's father was a scot and he used to say "there are only two types of people in this world - those who are scottish and those who wish they were!" My two great-grandmothers were scots who both married Irishmen while on my father's side I am proud to say I am a first fleeter - English heritage. Of course we have lots of Irish in us also. Our background is so similar to yours. cheers.
Really meaningful post and great lessons to live by.
Our company has really tried to push the limits on selfless giving and I'll make sure we add some of these thoughts to our thinking.
What a wonderfully rich article you have here! I'm looking forward to retuning to it as a resource and making time to read the comments. Thank you for helping me find this! May I link it on my hub?
This was a wonderful well written article. You explained very well how you came to that place of evaluating giving. It's easy to write the check and put it in the plate at church or send it to some charitable association. Giving of yourself takes things to a whole new level and I don't think you can be a giver and not be altruistic. I think giving of your time when its inconvenient or helping someone that needs help but hasn't asked are higher levels of giving. The rewards of giving are great. Thanks for a great hub.
In a nutshell, we do have the responsibility for checking out the organizations that we donate to and make sure they are on the up and up, yes. Blindly supporting negative causes and then citing 'ignorance is bliss' doesn't make the cut. Nazi is one example of such a cause gone astray.
Nice hub about giving. For me i would help family first.
Guess you struck a chord! Lots of fascinating comments to your very thoughtful hub. Thank you!
Hi.
I found this article a wonderful inspiration of hope in trying times, and have used parts of your ideas in my own blog. Hope you don't mind.
Have a read and please let me know if this is ok and what you think.
Thanks
Rob
Very informative piece and well written too. Excellent.
This is very well said - I too question my own motives sometimes, but in the end, it isn't the motivation as the actual act of giving that matters. Whether I do it for a tax deduction, or because I am a kindhearted person, the charity still has my money to do good with it. Once I let go of the rules (I can't benefit at all if it is really giving), I found more pleasure in giving, and was able to do more, and surprisingly I did give more just for the joy of giving. I am linking your hub to mine.








































FlyingPanther 3 years ago
Sally Amazing hub again as always you rock woman.. By the way im still waiting for you email , wink!! Lovw always.
FlyingPanther